Vows

Vows can be approached in so many different ways. Some couples prefer traditional, some like relaxed promises, others like to do personal and some like to do a bit of a mixture. For instance, you might like traditional vows and want to make some personal promises to each other or you might want to do your personal vows and finish up with the formalities of the traditional. It is entirely your choice. This is something we can talk over during our planning meeting too. I usually ask couples to know what style of vows they are going to go with before I write your ceremony, this is just so I know what to include.

Please note regardless of the vows you choose or write yourself, the only legal requirement that is placed on us is that the celebrant and the witnesses must hear both the bride and groom clearly and without duress agree to take each other as husband and wife. They can state that ‘I xxxx take you xxxx to be my husband/wife’ or they can be asked ‘Do you xxx take xxx as your wife/husband?’ Unfortunately at present, there is no gender neutral terminology in place in legislation for the legal part but , we can include what you would prefer at any other part of your ceremony.

The below are only for a bit of inspiration - I can also take your core values and write them into vows and of course, you can write your own.

It is wise to think about whether you want to do formal vows or relaxed promises to one another.

If it feels overwhelming - reach out, I am here, usually looking like a busted sofa on the other end of the emails/whatsapp or whatever your choice is to chat through what suits you best!

Only read what catches your eye or resonates with you, each couple is different!

Traditional Vows

These vows resonate with everyone and can be changed slightly to suit you. They are timeless and are applicable at any point in life you might be at together.

In my personal opinion, they work and flow better in a 'repeat after me format' where I break the vows down in to short sections for you to repeat after me on the day, this way you do not have to panic about having to remember anything as you'll just be repeating what I say to your partner.

You can read below for details or download my quick glance at traditional vows here:

Repeat after me format:

(Partner 1)

‘I, XXX, do take you/thee, XXX to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, for the rest of our lives together'

(partner 2)

‘I, XXX do take you/thee XXX, to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, for the rest of our lives together'

Or ...

If it is the case that you are really very concerned about talking out in front of everyone and this will put great pressure on you on the day, I can do it in the following format so all you have to do is say 'I do'

(Chlöe to Partner 1)

XXX do you take XXX to be your lawful wedded husband/wife to have and to hold from this day forward, to love and to cherish for the rest of your lives together?

Partner 1 answers, ‘I do’

(Chlöe to Partner 2)

XXX do you take XXX to be your lawful wedded husband/wife to have and to hold from this day forward, to love and to cherish for the rest of your lives together?

Partner answers, ‘I do’

This can lead on to the below:

Partner1 and Partner2 you have gathered about those who you love, to receive their encouragement and support at this special time. I ask you now, in the presence of family and friends:

Partner2, do you promise to love, respect and care for Partner1, to support and comfort her and always be true to him/her?

Partner2: I do

Partner1 do you promise to love, respect and care for Partner2, to support and comfort him and always be true to him/her?

Partner1: I do

After this point would come the exchange of rings.

Traditional vows PDF.pdf

Relaxed Promises

Relaxed promises are exactly what they say, they are a more informal way of promising all the things you'd like to promise on your wedding day. They are also a great way of including what is important to you both as a couple. Sometimes couples will send me through their core values and I can write them in to relaxed promises for you or you can also have a glass of vino (or not) and have a laugh writing them in yourself some evening.

Promise format finishing with the legal necessities (I would print them on card and keep them to give to you at this point). Below are some samples:

Partner 1:

XXX I promise to stand strong beside you, knowing that anything that comes our way, we are stronger together.

Partner 2:

XXX I promise to nurture our goals and ambitions;

Partner 1:

I promise to support you at all times and celebrate our accomplishments.

Partner 2:

I promise to always make sure your prosecco is topped up and your coffee is hot.

Partner 1:

I promise that from this day forward I will keep close to my heart the love that has brought us here today.

Partner 2:

I take you XXX, to be my husband/wife, today and always.

Partner 1 :

I take you XXX, to be my husband/wife, today and always.

Similar format with only 1 spoken promise

Partner 1:

'I promise to continue springing surprise plans on you, to always remind you to be optimistic when times get hard. I promise I'll keep you laughing and to support you in everything you do.'

Partner 2:

' I promise to continue organising everything that you're too laid back to sort! To always be patient, supportive and know when to talk or stay quiet when necessary. And I promise to make you laugh at all those silly things we enjoy.

This can finish up with the following for another example of including legalities:

Do you XXX, from this day forward, take XXX to be your husband/wife?

Partner 1:

'I do.'

Do you XXX from this day forward, take XXX to be your husband/wife?

Partner 2:

'I do.'

'We will' format:

XX and XX, will you seek, as mature people, to have a loving marriage, allowing it and each other to change and develop.. supporting each other in happiness and sorrows, health and illness?

We will.

Will you seek to live together as equal and different individuals and to recognise and accept each other’s strength and weaknesses?

We will.

Will you seek to trust the ebbs and flows of your love, to offer your love without conditions, having faith that it will always return, and understanding that its nature may change?

We will.

Will you seek always to learn from your shared experiences, and to build from them a full and caring friendship based on trust and on respect?

We will.

These could then finish with me asking each separately, do you take xxx as your husband/wife.

- One note I do have reference these is, don't overthink saying 'we will' at the same time, this can lead to very funny and awkward attempts at synchronising and funny nods of heads at each other to get it right on time together which doesn't really matter on the day, just say we will and if it is slightly out of time it is okay. Although if you'd like some light entertainment during your ceremony, by all means, let it get awkward - I do love it personally!

Personal vows

Some cringe when I say 'personal vows and others jump for joy at the idea of putting pen to paper and writing their inner most thoughts and declarations about the person they are going to marry.

If this is something you have always wanted to do and cannot imagine saying any words besides your own on your wedding day to express your love, then lets do it!

Below are a few samples of absolutely wonderful past couples who have allowed for me to share with you, the sentiments they shared on their wedding day - just to give you a little inspiration.

If you would like a little guidance with this, follow the step by step guide on the below page to pen your very own vows.

The following set of two short personal vows do not include the necessary legalities so you will see how that can then be worked in.

Partner 1:

I give to you everything I am and everything I will ever be.

I value our friendship beyond measure.

I promise to share your dreams and help you achieve your goals.

I will never stand behind you or in front of you

but always beside you.

Partner 2:

I will listen to you with an open heart and an open mind

pledging my honesty, compassion, fidelity and forgiveness.

I promise to love you no matter what tomorrow brings.

I will always be your most loyal friend and your loving husband/wife

because you are my heart and my soul now and forever.

Chlöe : XX, do you take XX to be your wife/husband? XX: I do.

Chlöe : XX, do you take XX to be your wife/husband? XX: I do

OR - these vows include the necessary legalities so that means after they shared them, we moved on to the rings without me having to interrupt the flow of their vows:

Sarah's Vows

There is no love like ours.

For there is no one else like you. Or like me.

You are my epic story. My light in the dark, when all other lights go out. The Aragorn to my Arwen. The Peter to my Mary-Jane. The Tony to my Pepper. The Lars to my Sigrit.

I make a sacred oath to you today to protect our love story.

And so…

I, Sarah Rose Smyth, take you Peter Anthony Fee, to be my husband.

I promise to cherish you for who you are.

I promise to listen or at least try to…

I promise to talk about everything, the big and the small.

I promise to make you laugh and to laugh with you.

I promise to protect our love, to nurture it.

I promise to show up everyday.

I promise to be your best friend.

I promise to build a home that with we both find refuge in.

I promise to love you in this life and whatever comes next.

I promise to love you 3000

Peter's Vows

I am your person;

for now and for evermore.

You are the Julianna to my Clive,

the Astrid to my Hiccup,

the Stroud to my Fenix,

the Hot to my Sauce.

I will always choose you;

as my player 2, my pillion and my partner.

I promise you my trust;

I promise you my honesty.

I promise to love you;

I promise these things forever.

I am excited for what I am about to say,

and for our future together.

I, Peter Anthony Fee, take you

Sarah Rose Smyth to be my wife,

to have and to hold from this day forward.

Ring Exchange Vows

After you have exchanged whatever vows it is that you have chosen, we then move on to the ring exchange. Usually during this, I stick with a repeat after me format for this as your hands are busy placing the rings so you cannot hold paper. The ring exchange vows are separate to the vows you share in which legally marries you - usually, not always! Just remember most of what I talk about is easily interchanged to suit you. If for instance you shared personal vows and did not include your legalities, I can include the legalities in your ring exchange!

Partner1 if you can take Partner2's ring now and place it half way on their finger and repeat after me.

Partner1, I give you this ring

as a symbol of my love and commitment.

May it always be a reminder

of our vows shared today.

Partner2 if you can take Partner1's ring now and place it half way on their finger and repeat after me.

Partner2, I give you this ring

as a symbol of my love and commitment.

May it be always be a reminder

of our vows shared today.

Or if you would like to include your legalities:

With this ring, I take you to be my husband/wife

Let it always be a reminder

of the vows we shared today.

Legal Declarations

These are not absolutely necessary but sometimes people can like the formality of the declarations so like to include them before any of the above in their ceremony.

Partner1, please repeat after me;

I call upon these persons here present,

To witness that I, XXX

declare that I know not

of any legal impediment

why I should not

be joined in matrimony to XXX .